Children’s movie writers have dirty minds. They scheme and look for ways to sneak dirty jokes into kids’ movies that children probably won’t get at all. But most adults will catch on right away. So, here are some shocking dirty jokes that slipped right under our noses.
Ratatouille: He Has a Small…
In “Ratatouille,” when Alfredo is explaining to Colette that a rat is helping him do the cooking, he puts his thumb and forefinger together and starts saying, “I have this tiny, little, little…” Soon thereafter, Collette backs up and looks straight at his pants. She seems taken aback for a moment because she thinks he’s talking about his manhood.
Rugrats: Born Under Venus
In “The Rugrats Movie,” while the parents are talking about the new baby’s gender, Angelica’s mom says, “You know what they say, born under Venus, look for a—hello?” and quickly gets interrupted by a phone call. But it’s obvious that she was talking about checking to see if the baby is a boy.
Aladdin: He Was in a Brothel
In “Aladdin,” that house full of beautiful women that Aladdin was being chased through was actually a brothel. The reason they were all mad at him and were chasing after him was because he was poor and couldn’t pay for the services they had rendered. Wow!
Inside Out: The Bear Joke
On “Inside Out,” Fear asked: “What was that? A bear?” To which Disgust replied, “There aren’t any bears in San Francisco.” And then Anger responds: “I saw a guy with a hairy back, does that count?” Anger was referring, of course, to hairy gay guys who are often referred to in the community as bears.
Madagascar: Marty’s Subtle Curse Words
In “Madagascar,” Marty the Zebra screamed “Sugar Honey Iced Tea” as Alex the Lion is chasing after him. But if you take the first letter from each word, it spells a curse word that starts with “S” and ends with “it.” Yup, that one!
Shrek 2: Drug Reference
In “Shrek 2,” during the “Cops” parody where Shrek and his friends get arrested, the cops find catnip on Puss in Boots. And, in a state of panic, Shrek screams, “That’s not mine!” which insinuates that the catnip was actually a drug reference in the film.
Shrek: The Compensating Joke
In the first “Shrek” movie, the donkey asks Shrek, “Do you think maybe he’s compensating for something?” after the cameras pans up and show off a gigantic castle. The joke suggests that Lord Farquaad, who was the owner of the castle, might have a small manhood.
Minions: My Eyes Are Down Here
In the movie, “Minions,” the little rascals dressed up like a normal woman to gain access to the Tower of London. But one Frenchman got caught by the Minions for making eye contact with the area where the boobs are supposed to be.
Wreck-It Ralph: The Dot-Muncher Reference
In “Wreck-It Ralph,” Ralph throws shade at Pac-Man and calls him a cherry-chasing dot-muncher, after learning he got invited to Felix’s party instead of him. Dot-muncher was used instead of rug muncher, which refers to eating a woman’s lady bits.
Ice Age-Dawn of Dinosaurs: Sid Milks Male Ram
In “Ice Age–Dawn of Dinosaurs,” Sid the Sloth is so dumb that he tried milking a male ram. But while kids don’t know any better, adults might have realized he was performing a naughty act that you wouldn’t expect to see in a children’s movie.
Toy Story 3: No One Takes His Wife’s Mouth
In “Toy Story 3,” Mr. Potato Head said, “Hey, no one takes my wife’s mouth but me!” Despite this, someone ended up stealing it. However, the reference suggests that Mr. Potato Head was making a non-kid-friendly oral reference of what he likes to do with his wife’s mouth…get it?
Cars 2: The Lemon Party
The lemon party in “Cars 2” is a vague reference to an early 2000s shock website that showed an image of three old men getting physically romantic with each other. Google “Lemon party” and you’ll see what we mean. Actually, you’re better off if you don’t Google it!
Shrek 2: Pork Illustrated
In “Shrek 2” the wolf is seen reading a magazine named “Pork Illustrated,” which probably contains photos of a bunch of pigs wearing swimsuits and posing like supermodels just like women models do in Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition.
Shrek: Lord Farquaad
“Shrek’s” evil villain, Lord Farquaad, has a name that writers undoubtedly modified from the curse word “f***wad.” Since he’s the film’s main antagonist, it’s safe to say that this wasn’t a coincidence. But it serves him right for being such a meanie.
Hocus Pocus: We Desire Children
During one scene in “Hocus Pocus,” the Sanderson witches are about to get on a bus. Then, they blurt out to the bus driver, “we desire children.” The driver’s response insinuates that he’s more than willing to help them out But he doesn’t realize that the sisters are supernatural creatures looking for children to drain their life force. Oh, well!
The Emperor’s New Groove: Pitching a Tent
In the film, “The Emperor’s New Groove,” Kronk is sleeping on the ground and has a tent pitched below his waist. If you’re a guy, you’ll probably get this because it happens often when you have a steamy dream, which this joke was insinuating.
Frozen: Olaf’s Woody
In the film, “Frozen,” Olaf the snowman has a mishap on a frozen lake. This causes one of his wooden arms to impale him in the stomach. Most kids won’t get it, but Disney animators might have done this on purpose so the detached arm would represent his manhood.
Zootopia: Bunnies are Good at Multiplying
In “Zootopia,” officer Judy Hopps assures Nick Wilde that she’s good at numbers because bunnies “are good at multiplying.” But the reference is more than just a math joke. It was the writer’s slick way of making Hopp’s attempt at flirtation seem subtle with a reproduction joke.
Bambi: The Skunk Gets Stiff
In “Bambi,” Flower the skunk meets a cute-looking female skunk. But to prove how love struck he is, his entire body changes color and gets stiff as a board, which is the writers and animators’ way of expressing just how physically excited he was.
Cinderella: Jaq and Gus Recover Beads
In “Cinderella,” Jaq and Gus are Cinderella’s mice friends who happily help to recover all the pearls from her destroyed necklace. But from a visual perspective, it looks like one of them is pulling the pearls out of the other one’s backside.
A Bug’s Life: Want to Pollinate?
In “A Bug’s Life,” two inebriated flies head to P.T. Flea’s Circus. That’s when one of them hits on Francis the ladybug, and throws in a pollinating pickup line that is definitely not safe to put in a kids’ movie.
The Santa Clause: Drug Joke
In “The Santa Clause,” Charlie gets in the sleigh and has the surprise of his life when he and Santa go airborne. “You’re flying!” Charlie exclaims. Then Santa, played by Tim Allen, says, “It’s okay. I lived through the ‘60s.” The line makes light of the fact that a lot of people were high as a kite in those days.
Ice Age – Dawn of the Dinosaurs: The Gender Change Joke
In “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs,” Manny asks Buck if he lost his mind. Then Buck responds: “Let me tell you about the time I used a sharpened clam shell to turn a T-Rex into a T-Rachel.” The joke suggests Buck cut off a dinosaur’s manhood.
Hercules: That Oedipus Thing
In the animated film, “Hercules,” the son of Zeus and Meg are discussing a play they just watched. Then, Hercules says, “And then that play, that Oedipus thing. Man, I thought I had problems.” He was making a reference to Oedipus, who ended his father’s life and married his own mother.
101 Dalmatians: He Got a Shrinky Winky
In the live action “101 Dalmatians,” Hugh Laurie’s character enters a taxidermist lab and says, “The sight of all these deceased creatures gives me a shrinky winky.” He pretty much insinuated that dead things made his manhood limp.
Toy Story: She’s Got You Hooked
In “Toy Story,” there’s a character that’s basically a fishing pole connected to some vivacious Barbie legs. The hook is a dead giveaway. It suggests that this toy is a working girl on a street corner.
Hercules: River Guardian Grows a Bump
In “Hercules,” the River guardian appears to grow a distinctive bump on his head after Hercules punches him and then a horseshoe hits him on the head. Maybe it’s nothing, but the phallic-shaped bump arising says otherwise.
The Little Mermaid: Priest Gets Excited
In “The Little Mermaid,” the priest is aboard a ship. But if you look at his crotch, you’ll notice that he’s getting very excited about marrying Eric and Ariel. He obviously loves weddings a lot, but it might be a little too much excitement for a kid’s movie.
Frozen: Foot Size Doesn’t Matter
In “Frozen,” Kristoff is asking Anna a series of questions. But then he asks her about Han’s foot size to which she replies, “foot size doesn’t matter.” But we all know that when someone talks about a guy’s foot size, they’re actually referring to the size of their manhood.
Aladdin: The Gay Joke
In “Aladdin,” when the Genie saves Aladdin’s life again, he tells him he was getting fond of him, and then adds, “Not that I want to pick out curtains, or anything.” So, basically, he felt he had to set the record straight about him not being gay… no pun intended.
Shrek: The Snow White Joke
In “Shrek,” Lord Farquadd asks the Magic Mirror for help in finding a princess that he can be with. The Magic Mirror then tells him about Snow White and how “just because she lives with seven men doesn’t mean she’s easy.”
Hocus Pocus: Sarah Was Naughty
In “Hocus Pocus,” when Winnie asks her sister, Sarah Sanderson, what they should do with the boy they’ve just captured, she replies, “Hang him on a hook and let me play with him!” Oh, that Sarah. She’s such a naughty girl!
Cars: All Convertible Waitresses
In “Cars,” there’s the highway sign with the words “All Convertible Waitresses.” This insinuates that this was like some sort of car equivalent of Hooters. In the movie, convertibles were like the Pam Anderson of the Cars world.
101 Dalmatians: You Have Been a Busy Boy
In the live action version of “101 Dalmatians,” Cruella de Vil gets told by Roger Radcliffe that his wife Anita is having a baby. But then he adds, “We’re having puppies, too.” To which Cruella replies, “Puppies!? You have been a busy boy.” She was essentially joking that Roger had also gotten a dog pregnant.
Muppet Treasure Island: Ms. Piggy’s Implications
In “Muppet Treasure Island,” Miss Piggy implies to Kermit that she and a pirate captain named Flint had a very close relationship. She says in the movie, “Well, he was a pirate, and I was a lady… you know the story.” This is kind of creepy given that most pirate relationships were rarely respectful or consensual.
Muppet Treasure Island: Hello, Looooooong John
Again in “Muppet Treasure Island,” Miss Piggy makes a not-so-subtle reference to Long John the pirate’s well-endowed manhood when she runs into him. After she says, “Hello, Looooooong John,” Kermit turns around and exclaims, “Oh no, him too!?
Toy Story 2: Buzz Got Turned On
In “Toy Story 2,” Jessie started to embrace Buzz Lightyear and then called him the “sweetest space toy I ever met.” But when Jessie went chasing after Andy’s dog, Buzz’s wings popped out and flashed, which indicates that Jessie got him very excited.
Toy Story 3: Barbie Likes Ken’s Ascot
In “Toy Story 3,” Barbie tells Ken he has a “nice ascot.” She’s referring to his neckerchief, but she hangs on the first syllable of the word “ascot” long enough to suggest that she’s really complimenting his backside more than the piece of cloth wrapped around his neck.
Beauty and the Beast: Gaston is Hairy Everywhere
In “Beauty and the Beast,” Gaston boasts that “every last inch of me’s covered with hair.” But as he says the word “inch,” he winks, which insinuates that he’s hairy just about everywhere and that includes the area below the waist.
Aladdin: The Earthquake Reference
In the direct-to-DVD film, “Aladdin and the King of Thieves,” the Genie mumbled this during Aladdin and Jasmine’s wedding: “I thought the Earth wasn’t supposed to move until the honeymoon.” He was clearly making a joke about what usually goes on inside a honeymoon suite.
