Your biggest controversy would probably be an unpopular lunch order. You navigate chaos with grace, know when to apologize and when to ignore the noise, and somehow manage to come out of every situation looking better than you went in.

You've got opinions and you're not afraid to share them—but you're self-aware enough to know when you've stepped in it. Most people find you refreshingly honest, though your Twitter replies occasionally make your friends cringe.

Several of your decisions would look absolutely terrible without context. You don't mean harm, but your sense of humor, your phrasing, and your timing have a way of creating misunderstandings that require a lot of explaining.

Your crisis-management strategy appears to be making everything worse. Every attempt to defend yourself somehow spawns three new controversies, and your instinct to fight back when criticized is both admirable and catastrophic.