Breadfaceblog is a wildly successful Instagram page run by one woman who smashes her face into differing bread-based products! But why is it so successful? Well… because the internet!
I’m more than certain that you do not need me to tell you that the internet is full of weird and wonderful things… but mostly weird!
One of the weirder things out there is the breadfaceblog phenomenon. The blog consists of a series of videos that showcase one woman’s love for pressing her face squarely into bread-based foodstuffs.
Yep, that is it!
As daft as the page may seem to some people, breadfaceblog has over 195, 000 followers and has become a social media sensation.
Nothing is safe from this New Yorker’s face; be it pretzels, naan, Saffron and Nori Dinner Rolls, Angel Food Cake, Sourdough, Baumkuchen, and so many more!
Her videos come with musical accompaniments from the likes of Lindsay Buckingham and Kylie (‘I can’t get you out of my bread’ – how funny am I?) to Fetty Wap (which is a musician as it turns out, not just the sound a teabag makes when you accidentally miss the bin and drop it on the kitchen floor).
The bready blogger, who keeps her name anonymous, is a creative consultant and copywriter by day.
I can, sort of, understand why you’d probably want to keep this sort of thing a little quiet… christ only knows what sort of weirdos she must attract!
Breadfaceblog first started back in 2015 when the bread fiend first took to Instagram to video herself smashing her face into a potato roll, and she’s still going strong.
Indie magazine interviewed the illusive bread-faced superstar in order to ascertain… well, why she does it?
‘I’ve always loved the sensation and when I’d tell my friends about this urge, they’d always laugh so I figured maybe it’ll make somebody else’s day out there!’
She also let the interviewer into a little secret about her favorite things to smush her face against, ‘I love sponge cakes. They’re both luxurious and resilient.’
This isn’t just a hobby for the bread headbutter either, as she is able to turn this unfathomably specific, yet inexplicably captivating, page into a source of income which she also explained in her interview:
‘I’m a real-life doll! Brands can dress me, paint my nails, do my makeup, and even restaurants ask me to come to do in-house breadfacings. The best thing about Breadfaceblog is that it’s about a lot of different things all at once, so I’m not limited to just fashion. I’d be just as excited to work with SPAM as I would be to work with a beauty brand — just as long as I love them!’
I think seeing someone press their face into SPAM would be a step too far for me thanks!
The face behind (and often in) breadfaceblog assured people that while she doesn’t get any sexual pleasure out of the act, she is aware of the fact that there are more than likely people out there doing… unpleasant… things to her videos and says that she doesn’t see the harm in it.
She seems to blatantly understand the weirdness of her website and allows a heady blend of irony into the mix. I mean, you’d have to be a little self-aware with this sort of thing surely?
Look, I’m not actually as annoyed by this as I am by most things I see on Instagram, as the girl behind it clearly understands how bizarre this whole thing is and seems very grateful for the attention that it has received.
However, my life will be plagued until the day I die, with the knowledge that there is someone out there making (probably quite a lot) of money out of pressing her face against wheat-based produce.
What has happened to the world?
Who would have thought that we would ever live in a time where someone can make money off 30-second videos of them pressing their face into various bready products! Let me know what you think of this story in the comments below!